{"id":4664,"date":"2020-02-13T15:56:16","date_gmt":"2020-02-13T22:56:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dixonsociety.ca\/?p=4664"},"modified":"2020-06-10T17:36:55","modified_gmt":"2020-06-11T00:36:55","slug":"the-role-of-boundaries-in-healthy-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dixonsociety.ca\/the-role-of-boundaries-in-healthy-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"The role of boundaries in healthy relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Whether it\u2019s for your friends, family, or even your employer, setting healthy boundaries is key to creating and maintaining happy, healthy and fulfilling relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boundaries not only help serve as a reminder that as individuals we have our own unique needs, interests, and feelings, but they also help us honour these aspects of ourselves and distinguish what we want for our own good and what others want from us. Without healthy boundaries, we contribute to unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships without realizing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

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Without healthy boundaries, we contribute to unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships without realizing it.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

How do I set healthy boundaries in my\nrelationships?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To set healthy boundaries one must first be able to define one\u2019s boundaries. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boundaries encompass both external or physical and internal or mental, emotional, and spiritual boundaries.<\/strong> While physical boundaries such as a locked door, or bodies, a password-protected computer are easy to see, internal boundaries like our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs are invisible and interpreted based on our communication and behaviour. It is important to remember that each person is responsible for their own thoughts, emotions and beliefs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Setting healthy\nboundaries can be difficult, and may feel uncomfortable at first. Still,\nsetting healthy boundaries is your right\u2014don’t be sorry for communicating your\nneeds! To start off, make sure you have a good understanding of what your needs\nand values are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Knowing the most effective ways to communicate your boundary to the other person is key. Talking about a boundary in the moment that someone does something that makes you uncomfortable might work with some people, but for other relationships, it might work better to set aside time to have a thorough discussion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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For other relationships, it might work better to set aside time to have a thorough discussion.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Regardless of how you decide to bring it up, be specific about the boundaries you\u2019ve defined. Using \u201cI\u201d statements may be helpful, as is explaining why you need this boundary and focusing on the others\u2019 behaviours instead of motives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if your partner makes a negative comment about the food you\u2019re eating, try saying something like: \u201cI would like you to stop making negative comments about what I eat. If you have a concern about what I eat I appreciate it if you communicate your concerns and the reasons for your concerns instead of negative comments that are not constructive. \u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When one has healthy boundaries, one has a strong sense of self and safety. A good example is a room with intact walls. It also has a solid door, but the doorknob is only on the inside. That means you can pick and choose who gets to come into your room, and who must stay outside. Healthy boundaries help you keep out toxic people, emotions, thoughts and beliefs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do I know if my boundaries have been crossed?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Boundary transgressions aren\u2019t always deliberate, and they aren\u2019t always\nobvious\u2014sometimes the person crossing a boundary hasn\u2019t realized they\u2019ve done\nso at all. Regardless of what form it takes, you have a right to assert your\nneeds, and your feelings are valid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, people will try to make us do things that we don\u2019t want to do\nby pressuring us into them. For example, if you tell your sibling you can\u2019t\nbabysit your niece on a certain day, they might try to pressure you into it by\nsaying things like \u201cOh, but we\u2019re family,\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s only for a couple of hours, I\ndo so much for you,\u201d \u201cIf you love me\/her, you\u2019d look after her,\u201d \u201cBut you\u2019re so\ngood with her, I can\u2019t trust anyone else to look after her.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

These statements, even if they seem innocuous in nature, are a form of\ncoercion. Coercive acts are essentially meant to get you to \u201cchange your mind\u201d\nabout a boundary you\u2019ve already set in place and are boundary transgressions in\nand of themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do I do if my boundaries have\nbeen crossed?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In safe, healthy relationships, open communication is everything. You have a right to address things your partner has done that have upset you or made you uncomfortable. Prepare for these conversations in any way you need to\u2014sometimes it seems to be best to address things right away, and in others, it may help to think about things and write them down first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Prepare for difficult conversations in any way you need to. It may help to think about things and write them down first.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

If your boundaries have been crossed to the point that you believe your relationship is abusive, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leaving an abusive or unsafe relationship can be dangerous, so it is very important to have a plan on how to leave safely and how you will stay safe if you can. Talking to someone you can confide in may be helpful. If you are in Metro Vancouver, Dixon\u2019s 24-hour intake line is accessible at 604-298-3454. For resources across the Province please call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whether it\u2019s for your friends, family, or even your employer, setting healthy boundaries is key to creating and maintaining happy, healthy and fulfilling relationships. Boundaries not only help serve as a reminder that as individuals we have our own unique needs, interests, and feelings, but they also help us honour these aspects of ourselves and …<\/p>\n

The role of boundaries in healthy relationships<\/span> Read More \u00bb<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88890,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"\nThe 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